The Chinese Tradition

China has one of the most detailed traditional wedding elements in accordance with their culture.  While the actual civil ceremony which consists of registering the marriage with the local registrar is brief and done without much ceremony, the process before it and the wedding reception afterwards is an altogether different story.  This would include the so-called “three letters and six etiquette” or the “three covenants and the six rites” to some scholars.  The full ritual was so complicated that it underwent several changes and simplification during the span of the Warring States Period.

The three letters or covenants exchanged between the families of the bride and groom would be: 1.The groom’s family sends the “request letter” to the bride upon the announcement of the engagement to formalize it and is to be sent with several gifts.  2. The “gift letter” is sent by the groom’s family together with a more formal collection of gifts.  This letter is more of a gift list rather than a letter of communication.  3. The “wedding letter” is sent by the groom’s family on the wedding day to formalize the event that the bride is being brought into a new family.  These three letters are hand-delivered in sequence through an elderly female envoy or liaison from the groom’s family.

The six etiquette or rites are customs carried out prior to and during the wedding day.  The first step is initiated when an emissary is sent by the groom’s family to persuade the bride’s family of the groom’s interest in their daughter.  The groom’s family will then request for the bride’s birth date and time so that a fortune teller can decide if the couple is a good match based on this information.  Gifts will then be sent to the bride’s family if the prospective couple turns out compatible.  The next step would require more formal gifts from the groom’s family.  A wedding date will be selected by the fortune teller.  The sixth and final step would occur on the wedding day itself when the groom fetches the bride from her family’s home and brings her to his family where the ceremony is performed.  The couple will have to serve tea to the groom’s parents and the wedding banquet follows.

Chinese wedding customs may have some variation depending on the province, but there are basic and common themes that are to be observed.  The bride and the groom are usually dressed in red which is the color of celebration and good fortune.  The bride also has a red veil or large embroidered handkerchief over her head.  The couple kow-tows to their parents and ancestors and bows in all four directions.  The parents will accept the tea served to them by the couple and will give a red envelope filled with cash.  This is also an opportunity to give the bride many pieces of gold jewelry or heirlooms.  This ceremony seals the couple’s marriage.  The bride changes her outfit several times during the reception to display her stature in life.