Before You Begin

Start off by writing down thoughts freely about the bride and groom and your relationship to them.

How do you know them?

Why did they choose you as best man?

How would you describe each of them? What are the first five adjectives that come to mind?

What was the groom like before he met the bride? How has he changed knowing her?

How did they meet? How did the groom tell you about her?

If you are married, you may wish to think about marriage advice you've received or have learned.

Are there any particularly amusing anecdotes that illustrate who the bride and/or groom is?

Of all the traditional speeches at the wedding reception, the best man's is the most anticipated. Guests look for humour from all the speeches, and are usually happy to reward even the feeblest attempt at a joke with gales of booming laughter. But the expectation has grown up that, whether or not any of the other speakers can stretch to a gag, the best man at least should do his best to put on a bit of a show and raise a few chuckles.

Actually this is not as daunting as it sounds. The best man usually speaks last, by which time guests tend to have relaxed considerably (a fact not unconnected with the wine that is disappearing at a rapid rate from the tables). By this time their sense of humour threshold will have lowered considerably, so anything that vaguely looks like a punch line should bring the house down.

Another advantage you'll have at this point is familiarity. Usually – unless you're posh enough to have a separate Master of Ceremonies - you will have been acting as the host or anchorman of the whole occasion, so by the time you get up to say your piece guests will be used to your ways.

Your role, in fact, is a multiple one. As the groom's best friend, it is your job to humiliate the Main Man in as amusing a fashion as possible. As host, you will read out telegrams and pass on any practical announcements - anything people need to know, for instance, about the evening's activities. And as traditional head of the wedding assistants, you will also speak on behalf of the bridesmaids.